- ON BEING HUMAN - THOUGHTS ALONG THE WAY
Given that I am one of those weird people who spend a lot of
time and effort trying to become a “better person,” I sometimes wonder if
anybody else is in that same boat. If
so, they are probably just as confused and frustrated with the fact that
self-improvement is so very difficult.
No matter how hard I try to radiate acceptance of all others, of all
situations, and that elusive “unconditional love,”
I am plagued with one challenge after another. Just as I think that maybe I “have it”
something or someone comes along and immediately proves that I most certainly
“don’t have it!” Are you with me so
far?
I just came upon a wonderful explanation of just why that
self-improvement scheme is so hard. The
source for my enlightenment is a surprise, I expect: the Reader’s Digest!
In the current September 2014 issue an article—“The Beautiful Life of
Your Brain” explained it all to me. The
imagery was perfect and easy to understand.
It seems that the brain has evolved over the millions of years that
humans have been on Earth. The author
explains it as analogous to ice cream scoops in a cone. The first “scoop” involved “lower parts like
the cerebellum and hypothalamus” that deal with survival behavior like sex and
eating. Lizards have this brain
part. No doubt this is why some brain
discussions refer to these brain parts as “reptilian.” The second “scoop” (which came much later)
“involved emotional processing in areas now known as the hippocampus and
amygdala.” Mice and other mammals share this with us. How exciting! Finally, the most recent addition (“scoop”) to our human brains
is the giant, complex cortex, “home of our thoughts and language.”
Now the key to all of this is that “You can only subtly
tweak what was there before and can’t change the basic plan.” We can only add things to the brain with
considerable effort on our part. With
that bit of insight, we begin to see why changing things in our brain is so
darn difficult. We are stuck with what
we have been given and must work within that structure. We also, apparently, need to be exceedingly
clever and knowledgeable about what we can add to this set structure, and how
to do it. We are given a clue in the
article: “Repeated patterns of thoughts and feelings actually change our brain
structure—evidenced by practices such as mindfulness meditation.” This suggests to us that if we are
determined enough to change ourselves for the “better,” it will involve a kind
of programming of our brain, consciously and repetitively. Sounds like a lot of work, but apparently it
is the only path to getting beyond the “monkey mind.” (For those of you who are unfamiliar with that term, the “monkey
mind” is that ceaseless chatter in your head that keeps you awake at night and
interferes with your concentration on other things during the day.)
The article discusses another stumbling block. It seems that out brains are hard-wired to
focus on negative events, criticisms, and bad news! One brain expert says,” The brain is like Velcro for bad
experiences but Teflon for good ones.”
This certainly is helpful to know, but also dismaying. It explains why anything negative or “bad”
in our minds sticks like glue and runs in a constant loop over and over and
over all day and night—especially in the middle of the night. Try as hard as you might to erase this awful
tape, it persists in repeating itself until you are exhausted. It is still there the next morning. It may be a beautiful sunny day, your body
is in good shape, everything is O.K. in your world, but the idea of that slips
off your plate like the Teflon it is.
The Velcro tape runs on and on and we sabotage ourselves with its
repetition. Then we remember that
repetition is the only way to change our brain and we feel frantic because we
realize that the repetition of the negative thoughts is burning brand new
energy lines into our brain and we aren’t doing anything about it!
Again, we are advised to try to feel positive experiences longer
because they “take more time to encode.”
It is wonderful to know this, but ever so difficult to do. Nevertheless, when we understand how this
remarkable brain of ours works, and we learn that only we can make any
improvements in our selves, our thinking and behavior processes, we have to face
those facts. We are responsible for
ourselves. Nobody else can do it.
The article ends with a discussion of the importance of
meditation. We find encouragement to
practice meditation in a myriad of places today, even the Reader’s Digest. “Meditation involves metacognition—thinking
about thinking, paying attention to attention—which uses the prefrontal cortex”
(that’s the newest one). “Meditation
seems to engage the most modern parts of the brain as well as the most ancient
ones.” Most important, “Sitting down,
focusing on breathing, and relaxing every day is actually going to build brain
structure!”
Now that this information is sinking in to my brain—slowly
because we recall that positive news slips away quickly because of the Teflon
effect—I am working on my self-discipline to sit down for one or two meditation
sessions each day. Of course, neither
you, nor I, find this easy because our brain is so busy focusing with its
Velcro characteristic and thereby spending the day dwelling on every possible
negative thought it can find.
Nevertheless, as the article, and many other sources emphasize,
repetition of the positive is “good.” I
slowly perceive that self-discipline is the first step. I must as Peter Pan recommended, “think
beautiful thoughts.” I may not fly to
Wonderland as a result, but gradually, ever so gradually, I may begin to glow a
bit like Tinkerbell and become a light unto myself (and hopefully,
others).
Are you ready to create your own Wonderland along with
me? All we can do
Is try our best. Who could ask for more?