October 2, 2006
Peace in the Heart

Every time I need to work on peace in my heart I end up turning to the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

This simple little prayer is the most practical tool I know for coping with everyday life.
Today, I'd like to discuss how it works.

"To accept the things I cannot change"---
What are those things exactly? Let's face it, those things are everything in our life "out there."
That involves all other people in our lives, in fact all other people on the planet or who have been on the planet.
That involves all circumstances: health issues, family issues, community issues, poliltical issues, world issues.
Reality tells us that all things outside our very being are NOT things in our control. This is a problem for most of us. I swear that everybody I know or meet has "control issues." The more education we have, the more understanding we have, the more we "want" to control our lives. Most of us spend our entire lives struggling to control things that are, in fact, not under our control. This creates great dissatisfaction and frustration in most of us.

If, on the other hand, we pay attention to this first line of the Serenity Prayer and work to try to apply it in our lives, we gradually recognize all the things we cannot control. Then we can choose to ACCEPT that fact, and deal with it! This leads us to step two, the second line of the Serenity Prayer.

"To change the things I can"--
Now, exactly what is it that we CAN change? The answer first must be that we can only change those things NOT outside of ourself. So we can work on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual things that are uniquely a part of us. Physically, we can't change the basics of our physical being, such as DNA, genetic traits, height and eye color. But we can actively promote and support our well being with proper diet, exercise, and all steps that help us maintain our physical vehicle (called the Body Temple by Edgar Cayce). Emotionally, the work is harder. Human beings tend to "react" to outside influences in emotional ways. More and more we learn that emotional reactions often lead to physical pain. So if we want to "feel good" we need to become more aware of our emotional reactions, and over-reactions. Use of the Serenity Prayer can help.

One of the biggest changes that each of us can make involves mental processes. We can, by choice and practice and discipline, change the way we THINK about things. Often this is discussed as "attitude changes." Attitude, as they say, is everything. As we THINK, so we FEEL. We can prove this to ourselves very quickly. If we think about something sad, like losing a pet or a dear friend, we can immediately "feel" emotional and physical reactions. We "feel" the sadness or grief, and our throat closes and feels raw, and tears form in our eyes. This happens so immediately, it can surprise us.

Given these examples, we can decide to intentionally pay attention to our thoughts and choose to think in positive, loving, peaceful, calm ways. Admittedly, this isn't easy to do. Meditation and prayer help. Intention helps. Practice always helps. Everybody knows in one way or another that anything we need to become skilled at requires lots of practice. Consider how that works for musicians and athletes!

Finally, we look at the last line of the Serenity Prayer.
"The wisdom to know the difference"--

This takes paying a lot of attention to what is going on both outside of us and inside of us. It means staying awake and aware to our thoughts, feelings, and responses. It means spending some time learning more and more about what it means to be human. It means learning about the difficult topic of "consciousness." Human beings are so much more than most of us realize. We can gain inspiration from our great role models.

For me, a special role model is the Dalai Lama. I have read numerous books both by him and about him.
From his many years of study, meditation, and discipline he can be both completely compassionate to each human being he meets, while at the same time completely "detached." I spent years trying to understand the concept of "detachment." For so many, and for myself for some time, it felt like being cold and remote from others. But it isn't that at all. The Dalai Lama practices, with genuine unconditional love, total attention to each person he meets. This compassion comes directly from his heart, and is a major goal of Buddhism. When that person leaves his presence, the Dalai Lama releases any attachment to that person, that person's problems or concerns. There is no judgment, and no emotional connection. He gives love; then let's the person go. Literally, he is practicing the Serenity Prayer. He has no control over that person or that person's life. He can, however, offer that person total acceptance, compassion, and unconditional love. And since he is wise, he knows the difference between the two. Bible students will find this same message in the teachings of Jesus.

So, there we have it--the lesson for today.
Accept WHAT IS.
Do the best you can. Be aware of attitudes.
Be aware of the difference. Grow in wisdom.

Namaste.